It is not uncommon to start a business after a nasty episode of workplace bullying; being an employee somewhat loses its attraction when abuse and depression have become part of the package. There’s a particular type of group workplace bullying more likely to affect sparky, entrepreneurial women: it’s called mobbing.

What is mobbing?

Mobbing is devastating for anyone who is a target. It’s defined as the malicious attempt to force a person out of their job through unjustified accusations, humiliation, general harassment and emotional abuse. It differs from bullying because it involves abuse by a group who ‘gang up’ to force someone to resign, be side-lined or sacked. While bullying tends to be top-down, mobbing is just as likely to target a manager or leader. A bully is often the ring-leader, often a skillful gossip who builds a stealth case against the target. By the time you know about the secret campaign against you, it’s often too late. There’s a passive-aggressive, mean girls side to this type of bullying which is sadly more likely to happen in female-dominated organisations.

[quote] Typical mobbing targets are popular, enthusiastic and high-achieving. They are the type of person who volunteers for tasks, takes on extra work and has a high level of integrity and ethics. [/quote]

People who’ve survived mobbing describe their experience as ‘merciless witch hunts’ where every effort was made to crush their psychological well-being and future earning capacity. It can take years to recover from mobbing. Knowing how to recognise it and how to survive an assault could help you to bounce back a bit more quickly.

How you know it is mobbing?

Sociologist Kenneth Westhues put together the following list of mobbing indicators:

1. By standard criteria of job performance, the target is at least average, probably above average.
2. Rumours and gossip circulate about the target’s misdeeds: “Did you hear what she did last week?”
3. The target is not invited to meetings or voted onto committees, is excluded or excludes self.
4. Collective focus on a critical incident that “shows what kind of person she really is”.
5. Shared conviction that the target needs some kind of formal punishment, “to be taught a lesson”.
6. Unusual timing of the decision to punish, e.g., apart from the annual performance review.
7. Emotion-laden, defamatory rhetoric about the target in oral and written communications.
8. Formal expressions of collective negative sentiment toward the target, e.g., a vote of censure, signatures on a petition, meeting to discuss what to do about the target.
9. High value on secrecy, confidentiality, and collegial solidarity among the mobbers.
10. Group think and loss of diversity of argument mean that it becomes dangerous to “speak up for” or defend the target.
11. The adding up small failings, real or imagined, to venial sins to make a mortal sin that cries for action.
12. The target is seen as personally abhorrent, with no redeeming qualities; stigmatizing, exclusionary labels are applied.
13. Disregard of due process or established procedures, as mobbers take matters into their own hands.
14. Resistance to independent, outside review of sanctions imposed on the target.
15. Outraged response to any appeals for outside help the target may make.
16. Mobbers’ fear of violence from target, target’s fear of violence from mobbers, or both.

Phases of mobbing

There tends to be a pattern to mobbing. Typically there are five phases:

1. The initial conflict or critical incident stage. This can often be quite minor but blown out of proportion by the ringleader. The target often has no idea that it is a problem until much later.

2. Psychological abuse is increasingly directed at the target. This builds up gradually and intensifies until you leave. It includes increasingly unreasonable communication, isolation as people start to avoid you and you’re excluded from communications and meetings,  mounting gossip and backstabbing, increasingly brazen and public reputational attacks, sidelining and increased workload.

3. Management intervenes, often siding with the perpetrators and increasing the levels of harm. Management are, sadly, rarely the ‘cavalry’ in mobbing cases. More often they’ll start to formalise the process with lengthy and multiple investigations into anonymous and trivial complaints. While those often eventually conclude that allegations cannot be substantiated, those targeted are nevertheless blamed for the feelings and perceptions of the complainants.

4. The target is accused of being ‘difficult’ or ‘mentally ill’. By this stage you’ll likely be highly stressed and your mental and physical health will be suffering. The perpetrators will have little empathy and will see this as further evidence that you are not up to the job.

5. Expulsion of the target from their employment. You’ll resign or be sacked.

How to survive a mobbing attack

1. Understand the process of mobbing and get support
Read as much as you can about mobbing and try to get support from others who’ve been through it. Nineveh is an online support forum for targets of mobbing. Understanding what is happening will give you the strength to recognise and anticipate what you are dealing with. It will also ensure that you are able to protect yourself against self-blame and some of the more devastating impacts of mobbing.

2. Language and communications
Use the term ‘target’ rather than ‘victim’ to describe your position. Victim reinforces a sense of ‘helplessness’ and ‘failure’. The term target also diminishes the potential ‘victim-blame’ cycle which suggests that the victim’s own behaviour is part of the problem.

Use the term ‘damage’ rather than ‘illness’ to attribute the cause of the intentional injury to the behaviour of the perpetrator/s.

Strip the perpetrators’ overblown and dramatic language down and reflect it back to them in reasonable language.

Do not react to their frenzy, keep communications with perpetrators as minimal as you can. If at all possible, ensure you are never on your own with them.

3. Keep notes and store them at home
Keep a journal of activities on a daily basis. Note people involved and any witnesses, requests made that are unfair or unreasonable, derogatory comments, time, who said what, etc. This is very important. Try to keep details of even minor events – mobbing is not a one-off event, it’s a long-term process of constant criticism and attacks. It is the cumulative impact which is so devastating.

Copy and file key documents and emails and keep them at home too.

Alongside this, keep a file of affirmations and evidence of your abilities. Look at it regularly to remind yourself that this is the person you are.

4. Put it in writing
Try to keep communications written (email) as much as possible. If they are trying to confuse you, write clarification memos and keep a copy (always at home).

5. Try to create structures of countervailing power
Name what is happening. An understanding of ‘mobbing’ can impact power balances. Keep stating the truth, clearly and assertively. Use transactional analysis to change what have become ‘angry parent/ child’ communications back to adult/ adult.

Look for allies. The most powerful force against mobbing is the colleague who sees what is going on and says “stop it”. They are what researchers call ‘guardians’ of prospective targets. They are willing to be seen with a mobbing target and to speak up for him or her when that is a risky, unpopular thing to do. But be aware that approaches to potential allies can backfire. Silent bystanders are generally quite weak people and if they feel provoked to take a ‘side’ they are likely to go with the side where they will feel safest, i.e. with the majority.

6. Ensure you have medical evidence
If mobbing is affecting you in any way physically or mentally, set up an immediate appointment with a GP and get it all documented. Or seek out a competent psychologist or psychiatrist who knows about these issues and is sympathetic and see them. This is all important documentation as well as support for you.

7. Get a life away from work
Try to keep a social life, outside interests and time for family and friends. This will counter the misery at work and if you do decide or have to leave, you will have a life to fall back on.

[quote]What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger[/quote]

I hope our tips help you to survive a mobbing attack or to leave on your own terms if it comes to that. It takes a long time to recover from mobbing. But when you do, you will be wiser and more resilient. Those are great attributes to build a career upon and just the kind of steel you can build a successful business around.

[box type=”info”]Prowess 2.0 is putting together a Mobbing ebook. We’re looking for some more case studies of women who have been through it and have recovered. All interviews will be anonymised. If you’d like to pre-order a copy – or if you or someone you know could contribute – please do get in touch: editor [at] prowess.org.uk [/box]