The rise of women in the workplace has put work-life balance firmly on the business agenda, yet the conversation still tends to centre on what mothers need. That matters, because women continue to shoulder the bulk of unpaid care and domestic work. What is often missing is an honest look at the role of men — as partners, colleagues, employers and policymakers — in making flexible, family-friendly work a reality for everyone.

Real work-life balance is not simply a women’s issue. It is a question of how families, workplaces and society share the load. If we only talk about mothers’ needs without looking at the choices and expectations placed on men, we will keep recycling the same inequalities.

The current picture in the UK

Despite decades of progress, the division of paid and unpaid labour remains uneven. ONS time-use data consistently shows that women do more housework and childcare than men, even when both partners work full time. Meanwhile, the gender pay gap for full-time employees stands at around 7.7% (2024), widening considerably for women in their thirties and forties — the years when caring responsibilities typically intensify.

Flexible working is now a day-one right for employees in Great Britain, who can request changes to their hours, times or place of work from their first day. That is a significant shift, but a right on paper only helps if workplace culture supports people to use it. Too often, flexibility is still seen as something women request and men accommodate, rather than a normal way of working.

Shared Parental Leave has been available in the UK since 2015, yet take-up remains stubbornly low. Estimates suggest only a small fraction of eligible couples use it, with cost and workplace stigma the biggest barriers. Statutory Paternity Pay, at £184.03 a week (2024/25), is also too low for many families to rely on, reinforcing the idea that fathers should return to work quickly while mothers take the career hit.

For some women, entrepreneurship is a route to control over hours: there are now more than 1.5 million women-led businesses in the UK, contributing billions to the economy. Yet self-employment should not be the only way for a woman to manage school runs and sick days. Women in employment also need genuine flexibility and fair treatment.

Why men’s involvement matters

When men are actively involved in care from the start, the benefits ripple out. Fathers who take leave are more likely to stay involved in childcare long term. Couples who share care report better mental health and relationship satisfaction. And women’s earnings recover more quickly when they are not the default parent.

There is also a business case. Employers that normalise flexible working and parental leave for men tend to see higher retention, better morale and easier recruitment. In a tight labour market, family-friendly policies are a competitive advantage, not a perk.

It takes two to overcome discrimination

The expectation that women will downshift or leave work after children, while men push on regardless, is a form of discrimination. It limits women’s careers, piles pressure on men and short-changes families. A healthy workplace depends on men being willing to call out the casual comments and outdated assumptions that write mothers off: the raised eyebrow when a woman leaves on time, the assumption that she will not want a promotion, the “joke” about dads babysitting their own children.

Women should not have to do all the advocacy. Men in positions of influence — whether as partners, line managers or senior leaders — can challenge these patterns by listening, asking what support is needed and visibly using family-friendly policies themselves.

The pressure on fathers and second parents

Men are not immune from work-life conflict. Many fathers say they want to spend more time with their children but feel unable to because of financial pressure, long hours or a workplace culture that equates presence with commitment. The cost of raising a child to age 18 now stands at roughly £157,000 for a couple and over £208,000 for a lone parent, according to the Child Poverty Action Group. With full-time nursery care often costing more than £15,000 a year, the financial squeeze on families is intense.

That pressure can trap men in the “breadwinner” role and women in the “carer” role, even when both would prefer something more balanced. Breaking that cycle requires more than individual choices; it needs affordable childcare, fair parental pay and managers who treat care as a shared human responsibility.

What employers can do

• Offer enhanced parental leave and pay for fathers and partners, not just mothers.
• Advertise all roles as open to flexible working unless there is a strong business reason not to.
• Train managers to handle flexible and parental-leave requests fairly and without bias.
• Make senior men visible in taking leave and working flexibly.
• Review promotion and pay processes to ensure part-time and flexible workers are not overlooked.

What families can do

Change also starts at home. Couples who talk openly about career goals, money and care before children arrive are better placed to share the load later. That includes the invisible mental load — the planning, scheduling and remembering — not just the physical tasks. It also means resisting the assumption that a mother’s job is automatically the one to flex.

Conclusion

Work-life balance will not be solved by women alone. Men have a central role to play as parents, partners, colleagues and leaders. When we make flexibility, shared leave and fair care the norm for everyone, families are stronger, businesses perform better and the economy benefits. We all have a role to play; the task is to make that role easier to step into.